So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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