She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
