I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
