FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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