I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
