did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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