porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
