Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
