Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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