I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
