just survived the first fart of the relationship.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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