I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
