I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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