And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
