So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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