How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
