Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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