Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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