you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
