And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
