I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You need a sexual gate keeper
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
