stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
