sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Your penis caused this!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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