I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
