? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
