Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
