Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just gargled with NyQuil
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
where are my eyebrows?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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