I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Its about making memories worth repressing
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
