Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
