They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
