Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
