I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
