She's JV to your varsity
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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