There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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