I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
