a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
