She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
