Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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