Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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