do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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