Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
