So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
and she was petting her beer can
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
