PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
