Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
