oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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