shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize