do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
