u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
