Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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