I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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