So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i will never coherently bang her
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
