toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I booty called her while she was in labor.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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