We're like a lot better than the average bears
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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