Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
