I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
4 words: hood of his car
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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