She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
