it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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