Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
