Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize