Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
