Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
