At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
