They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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